Chapter 20 - BIANCA FINALLY SAID WHAT SHE WAS AFRAID OF.
Bianca asked Alexander to meet at the house.
Not Helga's apartment.
Not a restaurant.
Not Ewald's place.
The same room where the envelope had torn.
Alexander agreed.
When he arrived, Bianca was sitting on the sofa.
The flowerpot remained on the coffee table.
The rug looked perfect again.
Alexander hated that.
Rooms recovered faster than people.
Bianca stood.
"Where's Helga?"
"Home."
"Does she know I'm talking to you?"
"She knows you texted."
Bianca nodded.
Alexander sat in the chair opposite her.
He did not sit beside her.
She noticed.
"What were you afraid of?"
Bianca looked toward the coffee table.
"The money made something real."
"What?"
"That I wasn't first."
Alexander exhaled.
"We've talked about this."
"No."
She shook her head.
"We talked about jealousy."
"What's the difference?"
"I wasn't jealous of Helga as your mother."
Alexander waited.
"I was afraid of what she represented."
He frowned.
Bianca continued.
"You come from a life where money meant safety."
"So do most people."
"Not like you."
She leaned forward.
"You remember exactly what things cost."
Alexander almost smiled.
"So does Mom."
"I know."
"You mocked her for it."
Bianca looked down.
"I know."
Alexander stayed quiet.
She corrected herself.
"I understand."
That mattered.
She continued.
"You check hotel rates even when you can afford the best room."
"That's called not being stupid."
Bianca almost smiled.
"You repair things."
"Sometimes."
"You keep old clothes."
"Mom says that's laziness."
Bianca laughed weakly.
Then her expression became serious.
"I thought eventually you'd stop thinking like someone who could lose everything."
Alexander frowned.
"Why would I want to?"
"Because I wanted to feel secure."
He stared.
Bianca continued.
"My father has always looked successful."
Alexander waited.
"He isn't always."
That wasn't news anymore.
But the way she said it mattered.
Bianca looked down at her hands.
"I grew up learning that the appearance of stability was sometimes the only stability we had."
Alexander leaned back.
There was the deeper fear.
Again, not an excuse.
A mechanism.
Bianca continued.
"When your mother talks about prices, repairs, cleaning houses, saving old coats—"
"It embarrasses you."
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because it reminds me that money can disappear."
Alexander stared.
Bianca's eyes filled.
"And when you started giving her more—"
"Repaying."
"Repaying."
She nodded.
"I heard something else."
"What?"
"That you were preparing for a life where family obligations came before us."
Alexander shook his head.
"That's not what happened."
"I know that now."
"Did you ever ask me?"
"No."
"Why?"
Bianca laughed bitterly.
"Because I was afraid you'd confirm it."
Alexander sat very still.
That sentence explained more than he expected.
She had not wanted information.
She had wanted control over uncertainty.
So she made decisions.
Told Ewald yes.
Questioned Helga.
Turned ordinary repayment into competition.
Then when the envelope appeared, she acted.
Bianca looked toward the rug.
"I saw her holding it."
Alexander followed her gaze.
"I knew it was the cash."
She swallowed.
"And I thought, there it is."
Alexander remembered Lydia saying the same thing about the insult.
There it is.
Different people seeing different fears confirmed in the same instant.
Bianca continued.
"I thought you had chosen."
"I had."
She looked at him.
"I chose to repay my mother."
Her face tightened.
"Yes."
"That wasn't choosing against you."
"I know."
Alexander said nothing.
Bianca closed her eyes.
"Stop."
"What?"
"You're waiting for me to correct it."
He almost smiled.
"Maybe."
She wiped her cheek.
"I understand."
They sat in silence.
Then Alexander asked, "Why did you give the envelope to Ewald?"
Bianca answered quickly.
"Because if he had it, I thought you couldn't give it to Helga."
"That's obvious."
"I know."
"There's more."
She looked down.
Alexander waited.
Bianca spoke quietly.
"I wanted you to have to take it back from him."
Alexander stared.
"Why?"
"Because then you would be the one choosing."
He frowned.
"I already was."
"No."
Her voice broke.
"Not in a way I could see."
Alexander stared at her.
The logic was warped.
But it was logic.
Bianca had created a public contest because Alexander's private decisions felt invisible.
If he took the money from Ewald and gave it to Helga, she would know where she stood.
If he let Ewald keep it, she would know something else.
She had forced a test.
And Helga had been humiliated inside it.
Alexander stood.
Bianca looked up.
"Where are you going?"
"Nowhere."
He walked toward the window.
"I need to think."
She waited.
Alexander turned.
"Do you understand how cruel that is?"
"Yes."
"Not the bleach line."
Bianca nodded slowly.
"The test."
"Yes."
"You used my mother to force me to prove something to you."
Tears slid down Bianca's face.
"Yes."
Alexander looked away.
That was the part he couldn't repair quickly.
Class contempt had been the weapon.
Control had been the purpose.
Both mattered.
Bianca wiped her face.
"I am sorry."
Alexander nodded.
"I believe you."
Hope flashed in her eyes.
He continued.
"I don't forgive you yet."
The hope faded.
"I understand."
Alexander looked toward the stairs.
"Are you staying here tonight?"
Bianca hesitated.
"Do you want me to?"
"I don't know."
She nodded.
"I'll stay with Marissa."
"Okay."
She stood.
They faced each other.
Neither hugged.
That hurt both of them.
Bianca picked up her bag.
At the doorway she stopped.
"Alexander."
He looked over.
"I told my father something else."
Alexander frowned.
"What?"
"That if you said no, I would make you change your mind."
Alexander stared.
"When?"
"Before the dinner."
His expression hardened.
Bianca continued.
"I thought that was confidence."
She looked toward the rug.
"Now I think it was something else."
"What?"
She swallowed.
"Entitlement."
Then she left.
Alexander remained in the room alone.
He looked at the flowerpot.
At the rug.
At the place where Helga had sat.
His phone rang.
Lydia.
He answered.
"Hi."
Her voice sounded uncertain.
"Alexander, I found something."
He closed his eyes.
"What now?"
"A second voicemail."
"From Bianca?"
"No."
May you like
Lydia paused.
"From Ewald."
