Chapter 23 - THE FIRST REAL LIE.
Alexander did not confront Bianca immediately.
That surprised Helga.
Three days earlier, he would have rushed between people trying to smooth things over.
Two days earlier, he would have demanded answers before anyone slept.
Now he did something different.
He waited.
Not avoidance.
Deliberation.
He asked Ewald to repeat the sentence.
Ewald did.
"I did not tell Bianca to stop waiting for you to decide."
"Did you say anything close?"
"No."
"Did you tell her to take control?"
"No."
"Did you say I was taking too long?"
"I may have said that."
Alexander wrote it down.
Ewald became irritated.
"Are you taking notes?"
"Yes."
"This is ridiculous."
"Then be accurate."
Ewald sighed.
"I said you were indecisive."
"True."
"I said Bianca needed to speak to you directly."
"Anything else?"
"I don't remember."
Alexander ended the call.
Then he called Bianca.
He did not tell her Ewald's exact denial.
"What did he say to you before the dinner?"
Bianca repeated it.
"Then stop waiting for him to decide."
"Exact?"
"Yes."
"Anything after?"
"I don't remember."
"Did he say take the envelope?"
"No."
"Did he say take control?"
"No."
Alexander paused.
Bianca noticed.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"No. What?"
"Ewald says he never said that sentence."
Silence.
Then Bianca laughed.
"Of course."
"Why of course?"
"Because it makes him look responsible."
"Is he?"
"Partly."
"That isn't what I asked."
Bianca sighed.
"Yes. I think he pushed me."
Alexander closed his eyes.
"Bianca."
"What?"
"Do you hear what you just did?"
Silence.
"You went from 'he said a sentence' to 'he pushed me.'"
"He did."
"Maybe."
Alexander's tone remained calm.
"But we are not turning interpretation into fact."
She was quiet.
Helga would have approved.
Alexander almost smiled at the thought.
Bianca said, "Fine."
He continued.
"Is there any record of the call?"
"No."
"Speakerphone?"
"No."
"Anyone heard?"
"No."
"Then we don't know."
"I know what I heard."
"That's different."
Bianca became angry.
"So now you don't believe me."
"I believe you remember him saying it."
"That's insulting."
"No."
Alexander sat at his desk.
"I am finally learning the difference between believing someone is honest and pretending memory is perfect."
Bianca said nothing.
He continued.
"Ewald might be lying."
"Thank you."
"You might be remembering a stronger sentence than he used."
Her anger returned.
"Unbelievable."
"Both can be true possibilities."
Bianca exhaled.
"So what happens?"
"Nothing."
"What?"
"We don't need to solve that sentence to solve everything else."
Silence.
Alexander continued.
"You ripped the envelope."
"Yes."
"You insulted Mom."
"Yes."
"You told Ewald I'd agreed."
"Yes."
"You spread incomplete information to Marissa."
"Yes."
"Ewald accepted money without asking me."
"Yes."
"He repeated assumptions about Mom."
"Yes."
"I ignored Mom when she told me about smaller humiliations."
Bianca went quiet.
Alexander continued.
"Those are established."
"Okay."
"We don't need one perfect villain."
That sentence changed something.
Bianca's voice softened.
"No."
Alexander looked out the window.
"Are you coming back?"
Silence.
"I don't know."
He nodded even though she couldn't see him.
"Fair."
"Do you want me to?"
He took a long breath.
"I want to want you back without being afraid we'll return to the same pattern."
Bianca cried quietly.
Alexander did not rush to fix it.
That was new too.
"I miss you," he said.
"I miss you."
"That isn't enough."
"I know."
He almost corrected her.
Then stopped.
Maybe sometimes a person really did know.
Bianca continued.
"I started seeing someone."
Alexander froze.
"What?"
"A counselor."
Relief and confusion arrived together.
"Oh."
Bianca gave a weak laugh.
"Not another man."
"Thank you for clarifying."
"Your silence was terrifying."
He laughed.
"So was your sentence."
She smiled through the phone.
"I've had one session."
"How was it?"
"Expensive."
Alexander laughed harder.
Helga would appreciate that.
Bianca continued.
"I talked about status."
"Okay."
"I talked about Helga."
"Okay."
"I talked about money."
"Okay."
"And my father."
Alexander waited.
"What about him?"
Bianca became quiet.
"I think I learned to treat uncertainty like humiliation."
Alexander frowned.
"Meaning?"
"If I don't know whether I can afford something, I feel embarrassed."
He listened.
"If I don't know what someone thinks of me, I assume they're judging."
Silence.
"If I don't know what you're going to decide, I try to make the decision happen."
Alexander looked down.
That was insight.
Not proof of change.
But more useful than another apology.
"Keep going."
"I will."
They talked another twenty minutes.
No resolution.
No reunion.
No breakup.
For once, uncertainty was allowed to remain uncertainty.
Later that evening, Alexander visited Helga.
She was repairing a loose button on the ugly brown coat she supposedly no longer owned.
Alexander stared.
"You lied."
Helga looked up.
"About?"
"The coat."
"What coat?"
He pointed.
She smiled.
"This?"
"You told me you got rid of it."
"I forgot."
"You are sewing it."
"Coincidence."
He laughed.
Helga finished the button.
"How's Bianca?"
"Trying."
"Good."
"Ewald may be lying about the phone call."
"Possible."
"Bianca may be remembering it wrong."
"Possible."
"I decided we don't need to know."
Helga stopped sewing.
Then she smiled.
Alexander frowned.
"What?"
"Progress."
He sat beside her.
"I realized we've spent days trying to identify one person responsible for a mess made by several."
Helga nodded.
"Responsibility isn't pie."
"What?"
"One person's slice doesn't make another person's smaller."
Alexander smiled.
"That was terrible."
"It made sense."
"Barely."
Helga folded the coat.
Then the doorbell rang.
She frowned.
Alexander looked at the clock.
"Expecting someone?"
"No."
He stood.
Helga opened the door.
Lydia stood outside holding a small padded envelope.
Her face looked uneasy.
"I think this belongs to you."
Helga frowned.
"What is it?"
Lydia handed it over.
Inside was a memory card.
Alexander stared.
Lydia swallowed.
"I found it in my purse after the dinner."
Helga looked at her.
"From what?"
May you like
Lydia's voice dropped.
"Your recorder."
