Chapter 13 - WHEN THE WATER STARTED GOING DOWN.
Floodwater receded more honestly than people did.
It left dirt behind.
No explanation.
No excuses.
Just a line on walls showing exactly how high it had been.
By late afternoon, the worst current had slowed.
Emergency crews allowed people near the north entrance but not into the parking lot.
Mud covered the pavement.
Branches had collected against tires.
One car rested at an angle against a curb.
Ryan's SUV was pinned near the drainage ditch.
The rear door remained open.
The interior was ruined.
Nobody discussed saving it anymore.
Ryan stood under the canopy looking at it.
Emily watched from inside.
Frank stood near the doorway beside the muddy car seat.
Linda had moved it there after someone nearly tripped over it.
The seat stayed visible.
That seemed to bother Ryan.
Emily knew because every time he looked toward the entrance, his eyes landed on it and moved away.
Sophie slept against Emily's chest.
The grey blanket remained wrapped around her.
One dry thing in a wet day.
Ryan came inside.
"Road north is open."
Frank nodded.
"Good."
"My parents can pick us up."
Emily looked at him.
Ryan continued.
"They're about twenty minutes away."
Frank asked, "Road safe?"
"Emergency crew says yes."
"Then fine."
Ryan looked at Emily.
"We can stay with them tonight."
She did not answer.
His expression changed.
"Em?"
"I heard."
"You don't want to?"
"I don't know."
"They have space."
"I know."
"There's a nursery."
"I know."
"They can get us clothes."
"I know."
Ryan's frustration returned.
"Then what?"
Emily looked at her father.
Frank immediately said, "Don't look at me."
Ryan laughed.
"Of course."
Frank's face hardened.
"She looked at me."
"Because she wants you to tell her what to do."
Emily stepped in.
"No."
Both men stopped.
She looked at Ryan.
"I looked at Dad because I was thinking about going with him."
Silence.
Ryan stared.
Frank did too.
Emily hadn't planned to say it.
Maybe she hadn't planned to think it.
Ryan's voice changed.
"Why?"
Emily almost laughed.
The question was too large.
"Because I don't want to go to your parents' house and spend tonight hearing how traumatized you are while everybody avoids talking about what happened."
Ryan flinched.
"That's unfair."
"Maybe."
"They love Sophie."
"I know."
"They love you."
"I know."
"They're not going to blame you."
"That's not what I'm afraid of."
"What are you afraid of?"
Emily looked toward the muddy car seat.
Ryan followed her eyes.
She said:
"That everybody will make what happened small enough for us to go back to normal."
Ryan stared.
Frank looked down.
Linda, passing behind them, slowed but did not stop.
Ryan lowered his voice.
"Maybe normal is what we need."
Emily's eyes filled.
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't think our normal was good."
That hurt him.
She saw it.
Ryan stepped back.
"What does that mean?"
Emily took a breath.
"It means today didn't create every problem."
Frank shifted uncomfortably.
Ryan looked at him.
"There it is."
Emily snapped.
"Stop looking at him."
Ryan turned back.
"Then tell me."
Emily touched Sophie's blanket.
"The chair."
He stared.
"Again?"
"Yes. Again."
"Your dad got a chair."
"After Linda noticed."
"Okay."
"You didn't."
Ryan opened his hands.
"I was taking pictures."
"Exactly."
"What does that prove?"
"Nothing by itself."
Ryan stopped.
Emily continued.
"The wine at Christmas."
His expression changed.
"Seriously?"
"The restaurants where you order for Dad."
"I know what he likes."
"He didn't ask you."
"The jokes about my neighborhood."
"I don't make those jokes."
"You laugh."
Ryan stared.
"The comments about my car."
"Your car is sixteen years old."
"It's paid off."
"I'm not saying—"
"That's the point. You never say the whole thing."
Emily's voice shook.
"You don't have to."
People nearby began noticing.
Ryan noticed them noticing.
His eyes flicked toward the crowd.
Emily saw it.
This time she called it out immediately.
"There."
He looked back.
"What?"
"You just checked who was watching."
Ryan's face went blank.
"No, I didn't."
"You did."
"Emily."
"You always do."
His voice dropped.
"Because you're starting a marriage fight in a church shelter."
"And that's more embarrassing than what caused it?"
Ryan looked around again.
He couldn't help it.
That almost made Emily laugh.
Frank stepped closer to her.
Ryan saw.
"Don't."
Frank stopped.
Ryan pointed.
"See? He can't help himself."
Emily turned on Ryan.
"He hasn't said anything."
"He doesn't need to."
"That's not how this works."
Ryan's jaw tightened.
Frank spoke quietly.
"She's right."
Ryan laughed.
"Of course."
Frank looked at him.
"I mean about me."
Ryan stared.
Frank continued.
"I should stay out."
Emily said, "Dad—"
Frank shook his head.
"No."
He looked at Ryan.
"This is between you two."
Then he walked toward the other side of the canopy.
Emily watched him go.
Ryan seemed surprised.
For several seconds, they stood alone with Sophie between them.
Ryan's voice softened.
"Do you really think I look down on you?"
Emily swallowed.
"Sometimes."
"Why did you marry me?"
"Because most of the time you made me feel loved."
"Most?"
"Ryan."
He looked devastated.
Emily continued.
"And because when you hurt me, you were very good at making it sound like I had misunderstood."
His face hardened again.
"So now I'm manipulative."
"I didn't say that."
"You don't have to."
Emily almost smiled sadly.
"Now you know how that feels."
Ryan looked away.
Outside, a tow operator spoke with emergency crews.
Someone moved the muddy car seat two feet closer to the entrance to clear a walkway.
Ryan watched.
Emily saw him watching.
He whispered:
"I hate that thing."
She looked at him.
"Why?"
"Because everybody looks at it."
"It's a car seat."
"No."
His voice was hollow.
"It's what everybody thinks happened."
Emily's heart pounded.
"What do you think happened?"
Ryan said nothing.
She stepped closer.
"Ryan."
He looked at Sophie.
Then at Emily.
"I left before I knew you were safe."
No excuse.
No correction.
No maybe.
Emily closed her eyes.
There it was.
The sentence she had been waiting for.
When she opened them, Ryan was crying.
Quietly.
Not dramatically.
His face barely moved.
Emily felt her own anger soften.
Not disappear.
Change.
"I know," she whispered.
Ryan nodded.
"I'm sorry."
"I know."
"I don't know what that makes me."
Emily looked at him for a long time.
Then she said the only truthful thing she had.
"Neither do I."
Behind them, Pastor Daniel announced that families could begin leaving through the north side.
Ryan wiped his face.
"My parents are almost here."
Emily looked toward Frank.
Her father was carrying boxes for an elderly couple.
He wasn't watching.
She looked back at Ryan.
"I need time."
Ryan swallowed.
"At your dad's?"
"Maybe."
His wounded pride returned for half a second.
Then vanished.
He nodded.
"Okay."
Emily was surprised.
Then his phone vibrated.
He looked at the screen.
His expression changed.
"Who is it?" she asked.
Ryan hesitated.
"My mother."
Emily waited.
"What did you tell her?"
May you like
Ryan's eyes lifted.
And that hesitation told Emily the day was not done telling the truth.
